Gratitude and Emotional Maturity
How to lose well, take responsibility, and build a stronger trading process through gratitude and emotional maturity.
An Attitude of Gratitude
Over the past six years, I've cycled farther than the circumference of the Earth, through countless countries across Europe and beyond. I lived out of a few bike bags for months at a time, always traveling on my own bicycle. That gave me an intense sense of freedom. That freedom gave me a profound appreciation for the prosperity and privilege that made much of this possible for me as a Dutch passport holder.
With my bike as my passport and the power of "hello, how are you?" I've been able to meet families and children who live so simply, yet with such fulfillment, that they can't even imagine our wealth. And they don't need to, because that right there IS wealth. And therein lies the paradox of our prosperity: the more we have, the more we want. And the more we want, the bigger the fear of losing it becomes, or the feeling that what we have now isn't good enough. That's the pitfall of prosperity: taking what you have for granted, and/or feeling like there's not enough. That IS scarcity. To me, wealth is inner wellbeing. And if you can access that, there's always enough of it.
There are very few places on this earth where people have it as good as we do. Traveling has taught me to embrace life as it comes, because at my core I know: it's good. For us Westerners, life is good regardless. It's largely something we can shape ourselves. Simply having the means and the time to learn to day trade is a privilege reserved for very few people on this earth. That puts everything in perspective.
Although I approach life with gratitude and appreciation, I did not initially bring that same attitude to day trading. When achieving satisfying results wasn't happening fast enough, I went to war - but not against the market. I was fighting my own greed and my inability to accept loss.
Back then I didn't see it. I only understood it later—at around the same time my results began to improve.
For me, both life and day trading are about accepting reality, including your own imperfections. It means embracing the whole experience and accepting that progress unfolds at its own pace.
It took me well over (!) twenty sessions with my mentor to reach consistent break-even results. The individual trades played only a small role in that. What was decisive was a mindset of patience, discipline and control - and above all the realization that I was even in a position to be able to follow such a path at all. That realization alone is a form of immense wealth, and something I had to learn to be grateful for.
As far as I'm concerned, gratitude is central to a fulfilled life. It is the key to being at peace with yourself - and therefore with everything you undertake. Whether things go the way you want or not.
When my trading results were lagging, I didn't need better trades. I needed a different attitude. Mindset is the foundation of your trading system. Without it, a trade is just a trade. Nothing more.
Compare it to running a marathon. Placing a trade is just a few steps within those 26.2 miles. The marathon itself consists of nutrition, sleep, training, measuring progress and - above all - mindset. That determines whether you even finish the marathon at all. It determines whether you finish—and how well you perform along the way.
If you prepare for a marathon, the experience may prove easier than expected. If you prepare for a short sprint lasting a few weeks, easy money, or "just doing your homework properly," you may be disappointed.
You only see results once you actually make changes to your attitude and approach, and dare to follow the process all the way through.
In a nutshell: I had to learn to lose, and to deal with that in an emotionally mature way.
Inner resistance to reality is, by definition, a struggle. And struggle brings tension with it. That's something we do to ourselves. That tension can show up in all kinds of forms, like FOMO or revenge trading. But the core is loss - or rather: the emotional weight we attach to loss.
Losing is temporary, provided you learn from it to get better and lose less and less. Whoever handles loss best, wins in the end. This attitude stimulates neuroplasticity - the brain's ability to learn - because that ability is greatest when there's no inner struggle. That leads to faster and more stable habit formation.
The more you accept reality—and yourself—the less struggle there is. And the less resistance, the smoother the process runs. Things begin to improve, and the process feels lighter. The sharp edges wear off. It becomes more and more about the process, and less and less about trades and dollars. Nice, right?
For me this meant: radical honesty with myself, taking responsibility for my behavior, patience, control, discipline and showing leadership. And above all, again: having appreciation for the enormously privileged position I was in - the privilege of having the time and means to be able to learn to trade at all.
Once I applied everything described above to my own attitude, failure became nothing more than a temporary setback.
Only then did the results start turning in my favor. And maybe the same is true for you.
"Strength and success arise from organized knowledge, organized effort, initiative, concentration, self-control and a clear definite purpose. Self-reflection - an honest look at yourself - is crucial in that, and makes it possible to let go of unhelpful habits and thought patterns. That forms the basis of a Mastermind."
— The Law of Success, Napoleon Hill
I am the architect of my own life experience. And maybe the above can help you see it that way too, and act accordingly.
What do you have to do, here and now, to become successful?
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Below is the IWM, where I show how to recognize a break-and-retest within a reversal, and vice versa. Followed by a correction video, because I zoomed incorrectly when switching to the 5-minute timeframe:
- https://www.loom.com/share/11785a51333847c1a5518b06e8e463e4
- https://www.loom.com/share/b9fbf3224806482386088e8dfd19c98f
Also a reflection on a textbook UK100 trade (at the start I mistakenly say DAX):
Lastly: two gems, on the DAX and Gold respectively: